32. Melon CrunkyMay 27, 2008
Melon Crunky is an interesting study in etymology.
Who named this dereliction, and what self-destructive outcome did he or she have in mind?
Such a name could only be derived from the following word combinations (in order of probability):
a) Crunky = Crappy + Junk
b) Crunky = Junky + Crap
c) Crunky = Crappy + Yuck
d) Crunky = Cooky + Crunch (the most harrowing of all, considering this “chocolate bar” is as crunchy as an emollient for severely dry skin.)
Yet even if we unwravel the twisted philology behind Melon Crunky, we still must ask how melon chocolate evolved as desired taste or even a preconceived thought. Melon has always been the Ford Excursion of fruit, but it has now creeped into an otherwise endurable chocolate, staining it a colour not unlike robin’s-egg blue and making it unfit for even the most provincial palate.