31. Vegetable Granola

May 26, 2008

To Westerners, finding a box (or even a ziplock bag) of cereal in Japan is equivalent to winning the lottery, celebrating the birth of a first child, or paying off that third mortgage.

But the joy quickly deflates when vegetables enter the picture.

Vegetables are not a morning food. This is why they are never included in a buffet-style breakfast, unless you count the odd cubed potato or some emaciated green meant to accompany to some fried egg.

Vegetables are hardly even a brunch food, for the earliest time one can eat salad is–unarguably–noon.

It is almost as if the human body is designed to keep out vegetables from 12:01am-11:59am daily. This is because it needs time to hose down the darkened streets of the jejunum, where the previous night’s veggies loiter aimlessly, unwanted.

Ingestion of vegetables during proscribed times is likely attributable to chronic illnesses such as fibromyalgia or adult-onset diabetes.

And even if it were wise to eat dessicated peas at 9:34am, it would not be for nutrition. As the student of elementary-school chemistry knows, vitamin C is water-soluble and therefore is rendered inutile in a dried tomato flake. This is especially true if the flake is drowned within a volatile sea of sweetened coconut and oats.

There is no further comment.



  1. as per usual, i’m disagreeing.

    while this may not be the most nutritious thing ever (lord knows, you’re better off with fish, miso soup, and natto for breakfast), it tastes really good. i was skeptical at first, too. however, as the lame bumper stickers or say, “give peas a chance.”

  2. Er, so THAT’s why I have fibromyalgia? I faintly recall morning glory spinach stir fry for breakfast in Thailand. And ginger and green onions in my morning jook. HRm…. will ask the doctor next time.

    Fun site. I like seeing that Japan isn’t just good food and cool technology. 🙂

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