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29. Organized Fruit

May 23, 2008

This is really unfortunate. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is now a fully treatable disease.

But part of the problem is that the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM), America’s “bible” of psychiatry, still does not view organizing fruit as a part of a larger illness.

Let us read from the DSM’s current definiton of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Compulsions as defined by (1) and (2):

(1) repetitive behaviors (e.g., hand washing, ordering, checking, [organizing fruit]) or mental acts (e.g., praying, counting, [organizing fruit], repeating words silently) that the person feels driven to perform in response to an obsession [to draw attention away from otherwise unripe cherries], or according to rules that must be applied rigidly [each cherry must form a mere bead in the grand vision of an abacus]


(2) the behaviors or mental acts are aimed at preventing or reducing distress [i.e. consumers realize pulchritude is not a substitution for taste] or preventing some dreaded event [a wanton bunch of berries left recklessly astir]; however, these behaviors or mental acts either are not connected in a realistic way with what they are designed to neutralize [a sour perversity] or prevent [i.e. people of reasonable intelligence realize that they paid $40 US for symmetry] or are clearly excessive [how much labour was squandered through this aimless enterprise?]

Most insensitively, organizing fruit is not listed here. But I have added my own scientific notes in red to justify (rather seamlessly) its inclusion.

It also appears that this blog classifies as a compulsion. Therefore, the cherry farmers of Japan and I will report back to you after a ten month rest cure and an ambitious trial of paxil.

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