27. The Pre-Packaged Soft Serve Cone

May 20, 2008

Japan loves to preserve things. This is why locals add cherry blossoms to everything from ramen (post coming soon) to rice balls in the spring. This is also why, if you move to Japan, you will find yourself living in an uninsullated hospital green apartment from 1821.

But there are some treasures in life that cannot be preserved

  • You cannot pour sunshine into a vial
  • You cannot lock health into a cabinet
  • You cannot buy a one night stand in a box
  • You cannot seal your friends into a tube

And most importantly

  • You cannot desecrate the soft serve cone, Japan’s lynch pin of hope, by trapping it under an hermetic dome of reconstituted plastic

There, it will suffer under a bitter miasma of re-circulated air. It will respond by sprouting a coat of ice crystals and atrophying its cone base until it is actually softer than the alleged “soft” ice cream itself.

For now, stick with the original, freshly dispensed version. You won’t have a problem finding one in Japan. They are more common in this country than are gas stations, garbage cans, or even people.



  1. you are insanely funny. you should write a book or something. who knows, maybe you already have! thanks for writing these posts, I really like them and they make me laugh every time!

  2. thanks! I like your blog too–great pictures.

  3. I spent a couple years in Japan when I was a kid, and I seem to recall eating one of those…

  4. Great site.
    I actually like cherry blossom ice cream, lavender is pretty good too!
    But pre packed soft serve, umm.

  5. […] We’ve already discussed how some treasures in life cannot be captured. […]

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