27. The Pre-Packaged Soft Serve ConeMay 20, 2008
Japan loves to preserve things. This is why locals add cherry blossoms to everything from ramen (post coming soon) to rice balls in the spring. This is also why, if you move to Japan, you will find yourself living in an uninsullated hospital green apartment from 1821.
But there are some treasures in life that cannot be preserved
- You cannot pour sunshine into a vial
- You cannot lock health into a cabinet
- You cannot buy a one night stand in a box
- You cannot seal your friends into a tube
And most importantly
- You cannot desecrate the soft serve cone, Japan’s lynch pin of hope, by trapping it under an hermetic dome of reconstituted plastic
There, it will suffer under a bitter miasma of re-circulated air. It will respond by sprouting a coat of ice crystals and atrophying its cone base until it is actually softer than the alleged “soft” ice cream itself.
For now, stick with the original, freshly dispensed version. You won’t have a problem finding one in Japan. They are more common in this country than are gas stations, garbage cans, or even people.