24. Matcha McFlurryMay 13, 2008
If there ever was a molestation of culture, here it is.
The Matcha McFlurry spells the end of Japan’s traditional tea ceremony days. Once the drink of Zen Buddhists, matcha is now a small-town salve for a certain red-headed clown.
The Japanese are already sick of matcha misuses; the green tea finds its way into everything from marshmallows to toilet paper nowadays–but to sentence it to the jail of the Golden Arches is the final straw. This is corporate colonialism at rock bottom.
Next we’ll be taking the Sacramental Bread at Taco Bell.
It’s time to redraw the boundaries of green tea. It works as a tea, as 1000 years of success has shown us, and maybe as flavouring in the odd traditional Japanese dessert. Never should we find it in a bucolic storm of ice milk further threatened by the dark clouds of oreo.