22. Mayonnaize Drops

May 11, 2008

Most Westerners spend their lives waiting for the day that condiments will be available in a drop-like form.

Through years of transient office jobs, mediocre marriages, and seasonal bouts of sinusitus, Westerners wait drearily for the golden panacea, a mustard-flavoured mint, a ketchup kandy, or better yet, a relish ring-pop.

Fortunately, in Japan, the long wait is over. The Mayonnaize Drop heralds as the promise of a new day.

No longer will people require clumsy accoutrements such as hot dogs or hamburgers to sneak in that taste of sauerkraut.

The stigma of liking condiments as is–in their elemental form–is now over; the sinister curtain has been drawn, the closet door, opened.

We can only hope that the brave Japanese factions that have fought for the Mayonnaize Drop will inspire Westerners to do the same. Radicals may be tried, but it is only through perseverance that the Mayonnaize Drop will make its way to the shelves of our nations.


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