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20. 2cm Cheese

May 9, 2008

This is a great idea, Japan. Why not individually wrap a 2cm slant of cheese and market it to low-wage earners who lack refrigerators?

The same simpletons who buy this also buy scallop puffs.

But unlike that calorically empty snack, the 2cm cheese may offer nutritional benefits. One serving likely contains 1/59th of your recommended daily intake of calcium and .0408% of your daily intake of zinc. Any other nutrients are nullified by the fact that this cheese does not need refrigeration; luke-warm shelved cheese is the definition of a nutritional masoleum.

On the bright side, you’ll be feeling sleek after restraining yourself to a mere vestige of beige lactose. If you’ve been especially good, you can even add an individually wrapped cashew or 1/8th of a Premium Plus to your dairy delight.

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