17. Edamame Kit-Kat

May 2, 2008

The Kit-Kat is so ubiquitous in Japan that even Rosemarie Fritzl would notice it cropping up now and then.

Little more than a plebian wafer combination in North American, the Kit-Kat of Japan is deified to the realm of demi-god or perhaps Buddha itself.

But of greater interest are the flavours that Japan has created to mask the faint cardboard aftertaste of the original variety.

They include

  • “vanilla” (which must contain something other than vanilla since the bar emerges in a pure white form)
  • “banana” (sporting a pastel yellow look)
  • strawberry” (made with .048% real fruit)
  • “sakura” (a seasonal shame)
  • “apple” (fortified with vitamin C in case citizens begin to confuse confectionary with produce)
  • “swirled melon” (from the swirled melon tree native to the Niger River)
  • “blood orange” (no thank-you)
  • “eraser” (the Kit-Kat design is imprinted on erasers throughout the nation. Unfortunately, erasers are non-caloric and cannot be further discussed).
  • “matcha” (an abomination of culture)
  • and finally, “edamame.”

Edamame is the greatest offender here (followed closely by the light green “apple”), not only to the Kit-Kat but also to Mother Nature. Legume should never be a flavour of chocolate, especially not edamame, a legume of otherwise great integrity.

For now, stick with the plain red and white label. Your won’t know what you’re missing, but then again, nor will Rosemarie Fritzl.



  1. But the Peanut is a legume. And peanut + chocolate = Mmmmmmm.

  2. There’s also a soy sauce version. I can’t even wrap my head around that one.

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