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13. Creap

April 25, 2008

This image is just depressing: a can of Creap perched on a Commodore 64 in a hospital-green room bleached by a cast of afternoon clouds.

But that aside, let’s focus on the Creap. Most of us already have one too many Creaps in our lives; the last thing we need is another one sidling in via our coffee.

We must say “coffee” under the assumption that Creap is a coffee whitener. This remains debatable, and no one has actually verified its purpose or whether it is safe for human consumption.

All we know is that it is labelled as a “creamy powder,” a contradictory and overzealous claim given that powder connotes “dry” and therefore cannot be “creamy,” which connotes “wet.”

But elementary-school chemistry aside, we must hand it to Japan for creating villainous additions to otherwise benign coffees.

Please refer to post #4 for more evidence.

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