12. Almond and Fish

April 24, 2008

Has there ever been a sweeter marriage than that of Almond and Fish?

The answer is no–and this is why Japan, with all its scrupulosity, has brought them together at last.

This isn’t such a bad idea. Think of the age-old adage “opposites attract”. This product likely pulls in more sales than “Almond and Almond,” or “Fish and Fish.” We appreciate diversity in our snacks as in our relationships: nothing is more depressing than a small-town nephrologist married to a small-town urologist, or alternatively, a red-haired librarian courting a red-haired information scientist.

Yet, there must be a valley of compromise between the hills of trite homogeneity and the hills of radical incongruity.

The slivered almond and emaciated sardine is not this compromise: one is a gilled ocean weed originating from the misfit Island of Sardinia; the other, a crenullated seed native to the Middle East. We don’t need a marriage counsellor to realize this union has four to six months at best.

Until then, Almond and Fish continues to be available in stores. While their marriage remains controversial, they may rally for the rights to a civil union or domestic partnership. Only time will tell.



  1. Um….This is actually a fairly common “otsumami” snack, traditionally consumed with a nice cold beer, that can be found everywhere in Japan.

  2. […] as both items are positive. We’ve already seen how this magic formula has brought us gems like Almonds and Fish […]

  3. What, you’ve never heard of Trout Almondine?

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