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3. Soy Joy

April 3, 2008

Soy Joy

Any visitor to Japan will know that Soy Joy is no joy at all.

Nonetheless, it remains ubiquitous, not unlike the donut in Canada, or the gun in America.

Soy Joy – the rock-like treat – purports to be healthful. Made (supposedly) with soy protein, this snack contains essential minerals, vitamins, and other “benefits.” One of these benefits is that, being rock-like, it will pass quickly through your digestive system, dislodging the last Soy Joy you ate, which is likely perched, immotile, on one of your colonic folds.

Another benefit is that Soy Joy comes in a variety of flavours – from raisin to raisin. The marketing gurus at Soy Joy have cleverly created six different wrapper colours to imply a flavour change; however, unless you can differentiate Sultana raisins from Thompson seedless raisins, you are SOL.

The real merit of Soy Joy is not nutritional, but social. When you chip your tooth on your first bar, you will be forced to find a local dentist, presumably one who speaks your native language. He or she will become a new friend, likely inviting you to a picnic replete with green tea, ODEN (post coming soon), and a game of frisbee.

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9 comments

  1. My friend eats oden everyday. I am looking forward with great anticipation your 4th culinary abortion.


  2. It appears that the immense absorptive surface area of the small intestine might have actually found a formidable match in the Soy Joy. With all the combined power of HCL, bicarbonate, amylase and lipase rendered useless against this rock treat, the enteric nervous system might actually just have to conceed defeat.


  3. WHO is this friend who eats Oden every day?

    Rebecca, I hope you do a thesis on this or something. I can send you somes sj specimens.


  4. Do soyjoys make your breasts larger?


  5. The evidence does not support that.


  6. […] while in Japan. The concept of a cookie has here been replaced by abominations like Nambu Sembei (Soy Joy’s equally petrous cousin) or the moon-shaped melon loaf, nicely dabbled with 1/3 of a chocolate chip […]


  7. I had a Soy Joy bar over here (free sample they sent me) and they’re quite different: moist and chewy, but not in a good way. Maybe shoe leather-flavored nougat. No way I’m buying any. (shudder)


  8. Wow, you were mailed a free sample of soy joy? That is a downward spin of Fortuna’s wheel. Hehe…I like your description of “leather-flavored” nougat.


  9. They sell Soy Joy bars in the States, too. Personally, I think they’re really yummy. *shrug* It’s a lot like fruit-flavoured biscotti, really.



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