64. The Rubix Cubewich

This game varies little from its plastic counterpart – the main difference being that if you solve a real rubix cube, you feel a sense of pride and accomplishment.

Conversely, if you “solve” this puzzle,  your arteries will become striated like the chunks pictured here. Instead of winning, you will have lost.

Continuity experts will also critique the bread encapsulate. Note the real rubix cube does not have a “roof” or a “floor.” Also, the real rubix cube has six well-differentiated colour tiles; the saturated fat rendition does not. Unless you cleverly distinguish between the solid purple chunk and the pimply one.

Regardless, the “artist” behind this misappropriation is more vainglorious than unique.

Next we’ll see legume connect four and monopoly lasagna.

Daikon: The Silver Bullet of Climate Change?

With atmospheric CO2 up 32 percent from the Industrial Age, we have every reason to be concerned about the future. But now there is hope in the form of the Daikon–an emerging new biofuel.

The Daikon as Biofuel

Although many sources of biofuel reduce our carbon footprint, Daikon is one of the most promising. Daikon is a big, inane-flavoured radish. It is currently being researched for its lack of salivary appeal. One potential use for it is as a biofuel  (current trials are limited to accounts of children immolating the root vegetable at dinner). Many crops are difficult to grow and sustain, with high nitrogen and water requirements. Daikon, the antithesis of flavour, stores nutrients in its root; it requires little maintance and has a high-yield with a low-moisture content.

Responses to the Critics

One criticism of biofuel is that carbon costs of production are high. Biofuel requires much land-use, and the destruction of ecosystems constributes to carbon emissions. See the NY Times for Scientist Joseph Fargione’s claim that the “clearance of grassland releases 93 times the amount of greenhouse gas that would be saved by the fuel made annually on that land.”

Luckily, the Daikon cannot be accused of this. With its robust downward growth, it requires minimal land use. A simple square foot of soil will do. The only concern is that the crop will grow to an invasive depth, piercing a hole through the core of the Earth. But this would connect China to North America, facilitating trade and eliminating unnecessary plane travel.

Conclusion

It may take time for scientists to realize the full benefits of Daikon, but for now the outlook is glorious. Future generations will live in a better world without the threat of taste bankruptcies and irresponsible carbon emissions. We should celebrate now.