58. Sac Juice
March 25, 2009
Sometimes two volatile substances are paired together much to everyone’s chagrin.
Fine examples of this in history are:
- Kraft dinner and ketchup
- Fish and bicycles
- Sonny and Cher
- Plaid and argyle
More recently, it has come to our awareness that sac and juice are far from illustrious mates. A close cousin of pulp, sac bears a similar congealed texture but with troublesome sexual undertones.
Important questions to ask yourself while drinking this beverage are as follows:
- Will it affect my ability to bear children?
- Will it make me grow a beard?
- Will it add four cup sizes to my chest?
- Do I look like an idiot?
If you answered “yes” to any of the points above, you should not drink this beverage. The temptation may be hard to fight–especially because of the clever “six fortune” name that implies clairvoyance or other supernatural qualities usually not assigned to juice.
But there are more reasonable alternatives. Even Extra Pulp Tropicana would be a wiser solution than this malfeasance.
*credits to the sage H. Spencer who submitted this photo
