28. The Canadian

This is Japan at its most perceptive. It has now perfectly compressed Canada’s national identity into a 4cm sandwich cookie.

Yet despite its polite and inoffensive taste, The Canadian it is not about to be the next major player on the world stage.

It could, however, be the next player on the world rink, as The Canadian has a texture uncannily reminiscent of a hockey puck. Alternatively, some may notice a ligneous consistency to this cookie, which is likely a tribute to Canada’s vast woodlands.

Even cleverer is the maple leaf adorned to the packaging, despite the fact that this is a 100% chocolate cookie and there are zero cocoa trees in Canada. This alludes to Canada’s “confused” ideology whereby citizens aren’t really sure what they stand for but will wittingly dress in a clear plastic sock resembling the national flag. It also speaks to Canada’s “cultural mosaic,” where diversity is concentrated within designated pouches of the nation.

But where The Canadian parallel fails is with price. A single bag of The Canadian[s] is available at the local 100 yen shop. This is a tad unfair given the recent success of the Canadian dollar. One bag should now rest at about 101 yen.

A final failure is the omission of a bear or an American from this careful exhibit. If there are two things Canada is known for internationally, it is these.