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25. Fanta “Shake”

May 16, 2008

What really needs a shake here is the CEO of Fanta.

Why ruin a perfectly good drink by adding a bunch of commands?

When people want a can of pop, they crave instant gratification, not a series of arm exercises, pectoral flexes, and deep thigh lunges. While the lunges may be a slight overstatement, it is true that you are supposed to shake this beverage for about 10 seconds before drinking it.

Then, just when your wrist alights with the flame of your arthritis, you receive a lamentable surprise: what you thought was a nice, carbonated treat is, in reality, an liquid travesty.

Perhaps liquid isn’t the right word. What I really meant was gel. An orange stream of magma will flow unwelcomly into your mouth from the crater that is this can.

You are correct: what you see here is actually JELLO. In a can. This drink (purposely) turns to jelly when you shake it for ten seconds. Fanta Japan, not unlike Starbucks Japan, foresees a market for these types of let-downs.

It is clear that in Japan jelly is the new black.

3 comments

  1. sounds vile


  2. You do realize that it is marketed to children right? I think its brilliant. Kids love crazy stuff that most adults wont eat/drink. Plus it lets them use up a bit of that endless energy they have. And your description was biased as well as vague. It is, from my understanding, orange soda and Jello in a Red Bull sized can. When you shake it up the carbonation breaks up the Jello into smaller pieces so its easier to drink and provides an interesting texture. How much you need to shake it really depends on how small you want the Jello pieces to be. Anyway, I love this drink so much that I’ll drink it till the day I die, arthritis or not. That said, anyone know how I can get it in the US?


  3. Jello in a can ???

    Disgusting !


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