23. Chocolate Potato Chips

In order to understand the reasoning behind chocolate potato chips, or Pottatcho, as they are cleverly called, let us first recall elementary school math.

Multiplying Integers

positive	x	positive	=	positive
negative	x	positive	=	negative
positive	x	negative	=	negative
negative	x	negative	=	positive

It turns out the rules for multiplying integers are the same rules that govern Japan’s culinary sphere. The person who masters this formula will go on to dominate kitchens across the nation.

The logic behind chocolate potato chips is simple: a positive food multiplied by another positive food equals a positive outcome. Chocolate and chips are both positive, good foods. This formula is fail proof. We’ve already seen this magic formula bring us gems like Almonds and Fish .

It matters little that the so-called “crispy” chips undergo saponification under a mask of year-old chocolate–or that the “mild” chocolate taste advertised here is as potent as the sperm of seven oxen.

What is important is the formula. Good foods plus good foods have a positive result; bad foods plus bad foods are also positive. We must eyelessly proceed through the dark of the night with these integer combinations in hand.